How to Find a Mentor

How to Find a Mentor

When you are struggling with finding your focus and perusing your passion it is important to have a mentor. I met with my mentor this morning to go over the tour, the book and my life.

I am struggling in a few areas and when we struggle we need to talk to people who have been through what we want to accomplish. They can provide relief, insight and valuable information for what you need and want.

How to find a mentor:

1) Pick three people who have accomplished what you want to accomplish and learn everything you can about them. Where do they live? What do they do for a living? Where did they get started?

2) After your research, pick the top person you want as your mentor who you feel most connected to.

3) Ask your circle of connections (online and off) if they know this person and would mind connecting you with them. If no one replies, find them online and get their contact information yourself.

4) Know exactly what you want from the mentor (Guidance to get into college, advice for how to start your business, keeping you motivated, etc.).

5) Email them and let them know who you are, why you are exactly reaching out to them and why you think it is worth their time to meet you. Make this email short, sweet and offer three times to meet for coffee or lunch.

6) Don’t be vague and don’t ramble. Most of these mentors don’t have time to pick a time and place and they wont read long paragraphs. If you know where they work or live (which you should, revisit step #1) you can provide three times with two locations nearest them for conveniences. You want to make the first meeting as easy as possible for the mentor and again that first email should be short, sweet and to the point.

7) If they don’t reach out to you, keep trying and be persistent. Let them know you are willing to work around their schedule and share why you are interested specifically in them and no one else.

8) If they do reach out and say yes, make sure to respond in a timely manner, agree on a time and place and send out a reminder email the day of, saying something along the lines like “looking forward to seeing you at (the spot) at (the time) and thank you again for taking the time. It really means a lot.”

9) Pay for their lunch, dinner or coffee. Make sure you treat them and you are there before they arrive.

10) During the meeting know exactly what questions you are going to ask them and let them talk more than you. If you two bond, let the person know and make sure to send a HAND WRITTEN (Keywords there) letter thanking them and hoping to see them again soon.

After that, let your mentorship develop. Set times that work well for you to regularly meet and keep treating your mentor as much as you can to coffee or lunch. Everyone has to eat right?

Mentors are incredibly valuable for the determination of your success. I use mine all the time and would not be where I am today with them! Everyone faces difficult times but not everyone has a mentor. If you want to lessen the load of struggle on your life, find a mentor and reach out to that person today! As always…

Dream BIG,
Ryan Avery

Question #1: What are other ways you can secure a mentor?
Question #2: What is the best advice you have received from your mentor that you can share with us?

This post was written by
At age 25, Ryan Avery became the youngest World Champion of Public Speaking in history; competing against more than 30,000 people from 116 countries to claim the 2012 Championship title. As an Emmy Award winning journalist and a proud member of the National Speakers Association, Ryan uses his background in multimedia and speaking to help reach the younger generation on the importance of improving their communication skills in order to advance in their professional and personal life.

11 Comments on "How to Find a Mentor"

  • Steve Cavin says

    Thanks for this posting, Ryan. The number one thing is to ASK. While everyone is busy, it has been my experience that people genuinely do want to help and pass along their guidance and insights. As you stated, it is all about the personal connection, being prepared with questions and resources (to best make use of the limited time together), and LISTENING.
    1. Business associates, fellow Toastmasters and club members, professional group members on LinkedIn, Mastermind groups via are all great resources.
    2. The best advice I have received is to “Always follow your dreams and never give up”. I am reminded of the quote “I will do today what others will not do, so that I can do tomorrow what others cannot do.”

    • SO true… it never hurts to ask! THanks Steve.

  • Marc Gabris says

    Hey Ryan,

    Thanks for the post! What do you do if the person you want to mentor you travels all the time? Say is on a fifty city tour… or something crazy like that? How would you propose times and locations to meet up with them? How important is it to have your meetings in person?

    1) Show appreciation to those around you, verbalize your desire for a mentor in a specific area, and be receptive to what comes about.

    2) A quote from Zig Ziglar sticks with me, “If you always do, what you’ve always done, you will always get what you’ve always gotten.” It is closely followed by, “Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly, until you can do it well.”

    • Hey Marc! Nice reply :) The mentor you are looking for is probably swamped right now and can’t take on a mentee but that is why he writes this blog to help out as much as he can. The meetings are not that important to have in person. I have a great mentor who I have actually never met in person but I like his style, he coaches me via Skype and he is wonderful! I would say keep reaching out and see when he/she is available to help out! :)

  • Marc Gabris says

    Thanks for the tips Ryan! You have made available a ton of great information. After I’ve intently studied all your videos (speaking course), and read all your books and blogs; I’ll see where you’re at time wise. I was going to post a link to your speaking course, but when I clicked on the link “Speaking Course on Sale Now” it loaded up a page that said “Sorry, we can’t seem to find what you are looking for.”

    See you tomorrow at the District 39 Fall Conference!

  • Ryan, excellent post. One of the ways I’ve obtained a mentor is to actively & often comment on blog posts. Jennifer Rothschild, well-known Christian author and speaker, is blind. Instead of leaving written comments on her blog posts, I send her voice mail (which she openly invites on her website). She personally replies with her own voice mail. I’m gradually building a relationship through this avenue.

    • That is so neat about Jennifer, thank you for sharing Lynn! I hope you are doing well and look forward to hopefully being back to Portland to visit you and the club soon! :)

  • Indira says

    Thanks for article, Ryan!
    I was join for online meeting with Robert Allan, yesterday. He is one of my favorite mentor.
    Another one mentor for me you. After reads your articles i am thinking a lot about many things, and i’ve got more passion, becouse everything for me very valueble.
    I get inspiration and inspires))))))
    Thank you very much for God and for You!

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